The truth is that only a children’s mental health specialist can assess if it is OCD. Parents, teachers and even your General Practitioner are not qualified to diagnose this complicated but very treatable condition.

We all have certain habits or do rituals such as inspecting the house several times before going out. We will often do our routines with little attention or thought. However, the 'habits' that children with OCD have are different because those ’habits’ will take up huge amounts of time, cause distress and get in the way of every day life.

It can sometimes be difficult for parents or carers to tell when the behaviours or habits their child is carrying out are normal or have reached the extent when outside intervention could be helpful. It could be useful to observe how much time your child is engaging in performing their rituals or habits. It is only when these activities take over an hour a day that specialists recognise it as a problem. Another guide may be how upset your child gets when they carry out their rituals or by how distressed they become if you try to prevent them from performing them.

OCD can be difficult to notice as some children are clever at hiding what they do because they’re embarrassed and acutely aware their thoughts are not “normal”. They may fear they are going mad or that they will be ridiculed. It may be that the need to perform the compulsive behaviour is so strong, that the family will be acutely aware the child is in distress. If the child is covering up the condition, the parent or carer can still spot some subtle behaviours. At home the child may show signs of high levels of anxiety, they might be absent for long periods of time to perform the compulsive behaviours privately.

The school may be reporting to you that the child is distracted or unfocused in class. They may become fairly distressed, upset or tired for no obvious reason. The teacher may have noticed a change of behaviour or performance by the child. They may have become very slow at finishing their class work because they feel they have to re-write words or sentences or may be they frequently rearrange their books, equipment and personal belongings. They may get distressed during maths if they have to write “bad” numbers. They may also be frequently late for lessons if they get caught up doing compulsions outside of the classroom.

Even though these can all be signs of OCD, it is vital to stress that they may also indicate other difficulties with learning or behaviour. Only a children’s mental health specialist can unravel the causes of the child’s distress and arrange the treatment according to the child’s individual needs. Long gone are the days when it was thought that bad parenting brought on these conditions, do not fear that you will be judged, criticised or blamed as this will not happen. The role of all children’s mental health services is to support the child and their family through this very difficult time. If you are concerned that your child might have OCD then you can get a referral to a children’s mental health specialist via the school nurse and/or your general practitioner. A chat to the school’s SENCO will also prove useful as they can keep the class teachers informed even during the assessment stage.

It is absolutely vital to understand that OCD is never a child's fault. It's essential for parents to involve themselves, to learn more about this disorder and be very supportive. It is no use simply telling the child to stop it or to behave, if they could they would already. OCD comes under the umbrella term of an anxiety disorder. It is crucial that no matter how distressed your child becomes that you remain calm and offer the child reassurance that you will help them. Remember it's the OCD that is causing the problem, not the child. The more that personal criticism can be avoided, the better for the child.

This condition is exhausting for the parents and carers too. Look after yourself, try to find an hour a day just for you, to walk in the park or soak in the bath. You matter too.