When I am driving in my car, I cannot pass a pedestrian without having the obsessive thought, “What if I ran over that pedestrian and killed him?” The compulsive part is soon to follow, so I must then turn around and perform all the checking methods.

1. I check to see if the person is still walking, and if I can still see him. If I see the person still walking I will watch him for as long as I can so that I can continuously reassure myself.

2. I check under the car for a body. When I am checking the car I must also check under every tire of the car, and this I must do at least four times or until I am sure there is no body. Even after checking I am not sure, and I continue to dwell on the thought that I may have killed someone.

3. I check my car for any blood spots. If there are any coloured markings or bird droppings on my car I must make sure that they are not blood by taking the substance between my fingers and rubbing it to be sure of its colour. I will even put a sample in a tissue, so I can get reassurance from my wife later that it is not blood.

4. I wait in the area where I think I ran somebody over and listen for ambulance sirens.

5. I check the car for any dents or scratches.

6. I drive away after completing the checks, but then drive back to start the checking over again.

It does not stop here, and the obsessive thought that I am responsible for killing someone stays in my mind.

Upon arriving at my home, I start checking again. I read the newspaper to see if there were any accidents or hit and runs and if there were I must confirm the following:

• that I wasn’t driving in the area where the accident happened
• at what day and time the accident happened 
• where I was that day and at precisely that time
• whether I was driving that day/time or whether my wife was

I will then ask my wife for reassurance. Regardless of how much proof I have that I wasn’t involved in the accident, I will cut the article out of the paper and put it in a safe place, so I can read it again later and recheck the facts to remain sure I wasn’t responsible.

After reading the newspaper, I will check the news on TV to see if there were any accidents or hit and runs, and this I must also do in a certain way. I put the TV volume on the highest setting, so that I can hear clearly. I watch the news with my wife so she can reassure me later. I also record the news bulletin so I can watch it several times.

The next day, I will go back to the area where I thought I may have hit someone to see if a cross has been placed by the road and to make sure there are still no blood marks on the tar. Even after double checking I remain unsure.

If one or more of my checking methods gives me doubts (which is often), I cannot escape my obsessive thoughts and they become more depressing as my worries go unresolved. Some thoughts I may have include:

• I am responsible for someone’s death.
• I am going to jail.
• I am going to be raped in jail.
• My life is over.
• I will never forgive myself.
• I have killed someone and nobody knows it.
• I am never going to see my family and wife again.

For obvious reasons, my OCD made driving impossible, so I stopped driving the car and let my wife do it instead. Unfortunately, even riding in the car does not prevent me from having obsessive thoughts, and I often worry that if I talk to my wife while she is driving she will get distracted and run someone over. To try to control my OCD while riding in the car, I do not talk and watch only the area in front of me.