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Open Question: I'm not afraid of death anymore?
I'll keep this as short as possible. Firstly, thank you for taking the time to read this, I just felt as though I needed to get somethings of my chest.
I have BiPolar disorder, recently diagnosed whilst I was in a psychiatric unit. I've been in a psych unit twice now and to be fair I was better in there. Although I did spend most of my time in there thinking of ways to escape, instead of obviously trying to support myself for the future and to receive help. I was only able to go because I convinced the tribunal I was well enough to be of the section that landed me there in the first place.
That was on month ago.......
More recently I haven't been able to leave the house due to a number of issues. One would be the obvious, I'm afraid of leaving the safety and blanket in-which I call 'home' I have anxiety issues, this doesn't help my case when I'm scared of going to the front door. Another reason would be my eating disorder, I have self-image problems. I feel the world would and will judge me. I'm overeating at the moment, hence why I won't leave the house. It's been 31days since I've left the house. This is easy because the person I live with hasn't realized that I have a disorder.
I was taking my medications (Ran out) and my doctors are in Birmingham, I live in hertfordshire. I've tried contacting them, answer phone. I don't care to run up my roommates phone bill chasing them down.
I'm abusing medications (Codeine) up to 30 a day. Why? Because I miss my 'highs' and they reinforce that euphoric feelings I once had. Now it's just depression, crying, anxiety and thoughts of death. Now onto the title of this question; I once was afraid of death, until this week. I wish death would come visit me so I could stare at him or her in the face and ask them to take me. I don't want to see the look on my mother and fathers face, seeing me dead in a morgue. But that doesn't seem like enough reason to live anymore...... The ultimate selfish act, what a horrible person I am even to have the idea conceived in my head. I lost my gran last year, I want her back and the only way I can do that is to die.
Please help
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Open Question: Will my mental health problems destroy my dreams?
Ok so I used to severely self harm, I have an eating disorder, PTSD, OCD, BPD, depression. But luckily I have not been officially diagnosed with this, the proffessionals have agreed to not make an official diagnosis if I work with them. I haven't ever been sectioned but I was in a secure unit for 6 months and a theraputic unit for 16 months. I still receive therapy now.
What I want to know is even when I'm better can I still travel the world and get my dream job as a therapist. I'm so scared. Please help x
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Open Question: My depression and mental state are ruining my life and the lives of others?
I have two choices as i see them:
1. remove myself completely from the situation so I stop suffering and others (namely my kids and husband) won't be ruined by my behavior, my complete lack of capacity to perform as the mother/wife they need. If I can take myself out of the picture they can mourn and be angry and then go on, my husband can find a better person to raise our children and he can do so without the worry he has for my health.
2. Remain and fake it, increasing steadily the amount of meds my doc wants to pump into me, knowing full well I do not want to continue this existence. I'd be here physically for my family, but at the same time have a small amount of resentment towards them for forcing me to stay. Which, I think they'd be intuitive enough to realize after time and it would f++k them up anyway.
I personally do not see any alternatives. I have no other family. I have no real friends because I have let this depression turn me into a literal social retard over the last 10 years, and I live in a foreign country where I have trouble relating to people. I have no work because here, at 39, no one would even consider me for a job, even with my degree, cuz I'm way too old. I've tried to volunteer awith organizations but my depression has caused me to be too inconsistent to be able to commit to any project.
I take 10 mg Entact and 100 mg lamyctal a day, and drink valium as much as possibile so i can sleep instead of thinking.
P.S. Anyone want to abuse me here, get your kicks, i don't give a rat's ass. It proves who YOU are....
Strattera is for ADHD, i'm NOT ADHD...maybe you should have read the question.
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Open Question: why do i feel so empty...?
Why am i going threw such bad depression?
i don't know what's wrong with me but i'm feeling really depressed lately, i have friends and a family that loves me but for some reason i feel so empty. Right now i only got 100 dollars to my name and no job. I'm living by myself in a small room that i rent because I want to finish some college classes so i can get out of the hell hole of community college and into a real university
last night i went to a party so get out of this crappy mood but it didn't really help much, all that was going threw my mind was how everything is pointless. As i drank and drank i still wasn't feeling any better i feel like my life i drifting away and i'm loosing my grip on it. I'm going to be 20 in a month and i feel like 10 years from now i'm going to be that loser that talks about what he could have been...
could any one give me some advice?
btw please don't tell me to take medication, i'm not a believer in that stuff, it just numbs the pain
instead of getting rid of it
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Open Question: How to set up a PLEASE ANSWER?
I am interested in mental health and I am wondering how I would go about setting up my own psychiatric hospital or mental asylum.
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Open Question: HELP! CXAN SOMEONE GET THEIR OLD PERSONALITY BACK AFTER THEY LOST IT?
PLEAS EHELP! ITS ALL MY TAECHERS FAULT SHE WAS SO JEALOUS OF ME. I DONT KNOW WHAT SHE HAS DONE BUT IM AWAKE TO HER NOW.
HELP ME MY PERSOPNALTY WAS SO AMAZING BEFORE IT WAS SO UPLIFTING AND EXOTIC SHE WAS JEALOUS I DOINT KNOW WHAT SHJE HAS DONE
HELP! PLEASE IT MAKES ME DEPRESSED IVE LOST EVERYTHING
AND IM ONLY 11 :I
HELP! CAN I GET IT BACK OR NO?
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Open Question: I dont know why but i never seem to have any interest in anything.?
I have recently found that going caping with my bf is good, i have been a few times but sometimes i feel uncomfortable with certain things while i am there. Other than that I get bored very easly and dont know what to do.I dont have any interest in anything at all.
What should i do?
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Open Question: Why am i going threw such bad depression?
i don't know what's wrong with me but i'm feeling really depressed lately, i have friends and a family that loves me but for some reason i feel so empty. Right now i only got 100 dollars to my name and no job. I'm living by myself in a small room that i rent because I want to finish some college classes so i can get out of the hell hole of community college and into a real university
last night i went to a party so get out of this crappy mood but it didn't really help much, all that was going threw my mind was how everything is pointless. As i drank and drank i still wasn't feeling any better i feel like my life i drifting away and i'm loosing my grip on it. I'm going to be 20 in a month and i feel like 10 years from now i'm going to be that loser that talks about what he could have been...
could any one give me some advice?
btw please don't tell me to take medication, i'm not a believer in that stuff, it just numbs the pain
instead of getting rid of it
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Open Question: I'm bulimic, and I need some advice about recovery..?
For nearly two years now, i've been suffering with Bulima. Mainly by using laxatives, and vomiting after binging, but now it's getting out of control, and I want to stop, but I can't. :(
I just wanted to know if I am thin enough to receive treatment?
Im 5ft1 Weight 112lbs. My bmi is 21.2
Also, I am a dress size 4-6 in the uk. (us 0-2)
And btw, those of you who think this is for sympathy, it's not. If you do think that, you can just fuck off, because living with this disorder is not fun. I just need advice and I can't exactly talk to my Mum about it, as she used to be Bulimic. :|
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Open Question: Mental Health? Or Hormones?
right, am 13 years old.. i have racing feelings+thoughts, i don't know if this is apart of hormones or what?
i like the thoughts of people being hurt, or blood .. and like seeing blood run on skin?
and i also like hurting the people i love, but then my whole mood changes and i start being all LOVED UP with them, and also.. my have about 5 different moods in an hour, and i get every mood more effectively than everyone else, like when am sad- i am really really depressed, i eat less, i cry over nothing and i just feel useless and everything.. even when i don't have anything to be depressed about. I'm not an emo or goth by the way! and sometimes i'm really really happy, but that's rare:/ but most of the time i feel irritated, annoyed and angry and i just want to hurt somebody so bad, and i could hurt them without feeling a bit of guilt.
i also have a very powerful and creative mind, but about different ways of hurting people and other things, i am suddenly happy and excited when i think about these kind of thing. I have a very sexual mind aswell:/ which i haven't had for long?
i don't have a bad life at home or school, so i'm just wondering what the hell is wrong with me and what has caused this, i enjoy fighting and i just feel soooo physco:| .. this all started from age 10 onwards?
please give supportive answers and try and help me figure this out?
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