What’s It Like Living With OCD? In all honesty, that’s an impossible question to answer because each child or adult with OCD is different, each family member is different and the obsessions and compulsions can be varied. It is emotionally draining, it does require a great deal of patience and OCD demands that the family start on a steep learning curve to help everyone beat what can be a debilitating condition.

It is crucial for the family members to support the OCD sufferer through this time by liasing with schools and getting access to the medical support or therapy that your child needs. Please refer to Your Child's Right's to guide you through these processes.

When you have taken all of the practical steps, it’s back home with you, your loved ones and the uninvited guest that is OCD, all living under the same roof.

If the sufferer is living with more than one family member, it’s important that the primary carer, maybe Mum or Dad share the information learned about OCD with the entire family. The strategies that counsellors suggest should be adhered to by everyone for consistency. However, the OCD sufferer may not want the specific details of their obsessions or compulsions being shared and it is important to respect that. For example they may have told the therapist they feel the need to count even numbers in their heads to prevent their Mum from drowning. The OCD sufferer will be aware this is not rational thinking, nevertheless these thoughts will be distressing for them. Only individual families can assess what particular information should be shared as you know each other best. However, it is important that in general terms the family know as much as possible about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Some areas benefit from family group work at the Children’s and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) but this varies across the country. If you’re fortunate to benefit then it’s a good idea to bring the immediate family to these sessions if it‘s possible. Siblings can find living with OCD a strain. They may be sharing a bedroom with a person who is obsessively tidy which can cause friction, as for the “normal” person to meet the exacting standards demanded by OCD can be impossible.

Try not to allow the OCD sufferer to involve you in their rituals. OCD can be extremely powerful in getting the parents and/or carers to become involved.

This can be best explained through some cases studies.

CHILD A

Child A had a fear of germs and contamination and would become extremely agitated when having to enter CAMHS as it is a department within a hospital. Therefore in the child’s mind it’s contaminated, the floors are dirty as they’ve been walked on by real sick people. The child was reluctant to attend CAMHS even though she desperately wanted their help to overcome her fears. To enter she would need to walk on the outside edge of each foot pointing her instep away from the floor and only place this small part of her feet at the extreme edges of each step to minimise contact with the floor. She would not use the banister as too many contaminated hands had used it.

Child A insisted that her mother walked in exactly the same way to ensure that she did not pick up germs from the floor and bring them back into the family home. The mother initially complied but felt quite foolish. With the help of the cognitive behavioural therapist the mother refused to walk in this rather strange way and did not comply with the child’s wishes. This was done by agreement with the child, the mother and the therapist all working together.

It was preferable for the parent in that case to demonstrate that nothing bad would happen from walking on the steps in the normal manner by actually doing it. In joining in with the avoidance compulsions it can inadvertently be sending the message that there is something to fear.

CHILD B

Child B feared he was going to be sick and constantly sought reassurance that he did not have a temperature by asking his mother to check it repeatedly. The relief felt by the reassurance of the temperature check was only short lived and the mother was asked again and again. In checking the child’s temperature the mother became engaged with the compulsive behaviours and confirmed to the child that there might be a reason to be concerned about his health.

With the help of child B’s therapist, the parent and child agreed that the mother would withdraw this reassurance. She would take the temperature just once and reassure the child he was quite well but explained that all future requests that day would not be answered as there was nothing to worry about. The mother then followed through with that by not taking the temperature and refusing to reassure the child they would not be sick reminding them of the conversation they had earlier in the day.

CHILD C

Child C lived with three other siblings and feared contamination. He tried to insist that his siblings’ friends were not allowed into the house as they contaminated it. His siblings refused to comply as it was their home too and this caused arguments. Child C’s response was to cover door and telephone handles with cloths, to use his feet to turn over the television, to use fresh towels each visit to the bathroom to protect himself from contamination within the home. The only “safe” room was his bedroom where no one else was allowed in or out.

In this case all of the family were being affected by the behaviour which helped child C to protect himself from contamination. The siblings found the cloths all over the house embarrassing when friends visited and the parents were exhausted from the children’s bickering. The child was on a waiting list to be assessed by CAMHS.

The parents were imaginative and found a course of action to help the child find strategies to cope with the fears of contamination which did not intrude on everyone’s living environment. The child could wear gloves instead of using cloths on the doors for example. The cloths would also served as a visual reminder to the OCD sufferer that there was contamination in the house. The siblings were educated on OCD which helped them to understand the very real distress their brother was in, that forced him to carry out these compulsive behaviours. This helped reduce tension in the house until the child could be assessed and treated by a mental health professional.

The children in these cases studies initially all become anxious when the parent did not engage with the compulsive behaviours although this gradually diminished. If you suspect your child has OCD then specialist intervention should be sought immediately. Your child’s mental health professional can help you to work on coping strategies together. These are merely case studies to give you a greater understanding of how OCD can impact on every day living and should not replace specialist intervention.

It goes without saying that children with this dreadful condition should not be mocked or ridiculed and everyone should try to remain as calm as possible. OCD is an anxiety disorder and the more anxiety can be taken out of the child’s life the better the improvement. You probably will not achieve that level of parental saintliness all day every day and please don’t be hard on yourself if you slip. Allow yourself to be human, do the best you can and try to take a little time every day just for yourself.